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April 28, 2022

Not Too Weird

Vaea recently completed Hypnospace Outlaw. Yes, it is truly shocking that it had not done this before now. But now Vaea can confidently say that it has, at the very least, glanced at every page in Hypnospace. The music in the game is very nice. In particular, Vaea enjoyed the music from the in-universe band, Barnaby's Chair (courtesy of Dan Warren).
In general the music culture in Hypnospace was pretty cool and interesting to read about. The whole Coolpunk debacle was a wild thing to sift through the results of. Vaea really likes the song Icy Girl by Fre3zer. It found this cute video featuring it. It is not at all familiar with Touhou, but it couldn't help but adore the sheer positivity the video emanated!
Anyway, maybe it's weird that Vaea's written takeaway from a game about the internet is so music centric, but sometimes that's just what happens. Vaea's excited for the sequel!

Vaea is feeling
Relaxed

February 10, 2022

Just to Say Something

It's been a while since Vaea's written a journal entry, so it just thought it time to try getting some thoughts out. The tough part is beginning, and Vaea's entries are often just stream of consciousness with a little extra flair. It often tries to apply a theme, but perhaps that's not the best way to go about? Perhaps Vaea could produce longer, and maybe even more interesting entries by just throwing its thoughts out there.
Vaea's been getting pretty into making food. It may have discussed the culinary arts before in a broader entry about art. But honestly? Food is just delicious, and there's so many things to do. Yesterday it made a loaf of banana bread, and today it made some sort of weird taco casserole. Delicious.
Vaea started playing Disco Elysium recently as well. It's a pretty neat game. It's cool how much you're able to experiment with your character and the mental direction they end up taking themselves in. Vaea doesn't have too many thoughts on the game just yet. It just thought it worthwhile to get that out there. Roleplaying games are pretty cool, and this one has a lot going on.
That's the extent of Vaea's thoughts for the time being. It could probably say more, but it honestly just feels a bit weird being this unfocused and jumpy. It'll end it here for now. Hopefully in the future it can figure out a way to use this journal that feels... satisfactory?

Vaea is feeling
Directionless

December 3, 2021

Streaming Now

Vaea did its first Twitch livestream last night. It had planned to play Skyrim but ran into some technical difficulties. On account of the issues with Skyrim, Vaea decided to play Just Shapes & Beats instead. After a bit of that, it decided to switch gears to Half-Life on hard difficulty.
Vaea's not too upset about the technical difficulties, as it's not really sure how fun or interesting a Skyrim stream would've been anyway. It plans to play the same two games on stream tonight as well.
Skyrim will likely see its day, though, as Vaea has managed to solve the issues with it that made it unplayable. If you want to follow Vaea on Twitch, check out the Outlinks tab above. Vaea's Twitch is linked there.

Vaea is feeling
Hopeful
September 2021

September 2021, Week 3

Empty

We've really accomplished very little this week. Haven't built anything in Minecraft. Mostly just been playing Cookie Clicker and sleeping. It's been oddly lonely as well. Vaea's not really sure of what to write this week, since so little has happened. Hopefully we can accomplish more next week, and actually get a proper entry written. See you then.

Vaea is feeling
Tired

September 2021, Week 2

Creation

Vaea hasn't been keeping up with its website as much as it used to. But it thinks that's okay. The system has been a lot more active, and Vaea wants to allow another member of the system to create her own section of this website once we have the energy to do that.
Most of the time this week has been spent playing Minecraft. Calliope found a roleplay server, and she's been working on a rather ambitious building project for it. Of course, this week has also been filled with constant switching and trying to develop identities. We've all been roped into this project, and it was taking quite a toll for a little bit.
We're doing fine now, and the build we have is actually looking quite good so far. Everyone seems to be a lot more satisfied with themselves lately. Perhaps future journal entries will feature more talk about the system. Vaea can't promise anything, though.

Vaea is feeling
Hopeful

September 2021, Week 1

Burnout

The reason Vaea suddenly stopped making entries is simply because it became burnt out on coming up with ideas for them. In response to this sudden intense burnout, it has opted to lower the frequency of the entries. This will, hopefully, aid the quality of the entries as well. Fewer entries about how Vaea has nothing to write about. It's excited to be able to actually do this again without being constantly stressed out by it. Who knows what Vaea will end up writing about in the coming weeks of September. Tune in to find out.

Vaea is feeling
Reasonable
August 16 - August 19 2021

August 19, 2021

Video Game Hype

Vaea's queerplatonic partner finally picked up Minecraft. Needless to say, Vaea is quite excited to play with her!
Aside from that, Vaea's been making steady progress in Breath of the Wild. It's been really fun to explore and discover a whole bunch of new stuff. Maybe at some point Vaea will find the sword that seals the darkness.
Anyway, that's all for today. Just some gaming excitement. See you tomorrow.

Vaea is feeling
Hyped

August 18, 2021

No.

Nothing today, sorry.

Vaea is feeling
Exhausted

August 17, 2021

Breath of Fresh Air

Recently, Vaea picked up Breath of the Wild again. We got the game back in 2019, but never managed to finish it. Vaea decided to turn it on again, and this time be dedicated to seeing the story to its conclusion. It's a very charming little game, and Vaea is very excited about playing it. Vaea changed the voice language to Japanese just to mix things up a bit. It much prefers the Japanese voices, having now heard them. Anyway, it's nice to just sit down and explore such a beautiful open world. The cooking mechanics are also very fun to play around with. Vaea still needs to figure out the combat, but there's plenty of time for that. This is such a good game, and Vaea can't wait to play Age of Calamity once it's finished with this.

Vaea is feeling
Joyful

August 16, 2021

Fear and Trauma

Sleep schedule in absolute ruins. Vaea really doesn't want to write an entry today, but it's going to anyway. Do you ever just.. feel afraid for no reason? It happens to Vaea on occasion. Vaea suspects this is the effect of some sort of trauma. We don't really bother to try to sort out what is and isn't a traumatic experience. We struggle to remember many events prior to 2016. Even thinking back that far can be a struggle at times. Vaea is mostly content to live in the now, and hope that the future holds something at least slightly better.

Vaea is feeling
Nervous
August 9 - August 13 2021

August 13, 2021

This Entry Talks About Food

Vaea had a couple s'mores last night. The marshmallows were toasted over a propane campfire. They were very delicious, and it was nice to just chill and listen to some music.
All in all, Vaea found it enjoyable to just sit outside, put on some calm music, and consume some sugary sweets while the fire kept the body warm. It was a good way to end the day, and Vaea felt that simply writing about that would be a good way to end the week.
See you next week.

Vaea is feeling
Serene

August 12, 2021

VaeaVaea

Vaea surprisingly doesn't have much to write about today. Apologies for the lack of any interesting content. Vaea will try its best to think of something for the end of the week tomorrow, but it really can't afford to put in the effort today. Today is a break for Vaea, and it needs that break. So uh... see you tomorrow, Vaea supposes?

Vaea is feeling
Reasonable

August 11, 2021

VaeaTuber?

Vaea's been seeing these VTubers being a thing, and Vaea might be interested in doing something similar. Although, on account of a lack of funds or even just the understanding of how the whole thing works, this may not be something Vaea gets started on for a while. Regardless, Vaea thinks its appearance would be rather well suited to the format. It would just need a proper avatar and some way to get it moving. Anyway, that's all for today's entry. See you tomorrow.

Vaea is feeling
Reasonable

August 10, 2021

Things That Bind Us?

Vaea definitely enjoys Vylet Pony's latest album, but it does have disagreements with the points made on the first track. Cutie marks in general aren't meant to be a "summation" of the entirety of any part of you. They moreso represent a core. They represent something you'll always be able to go back to, no matter what else you find yourself doing. Twilight's cutie mark, for example, represents her skill in the art of magic. This doesn't mean her whole self is represented by magic, or that she is destined to dedicate her whole life to the study of magic. What it means is that no matter how much she has on her plate, she always has that reminder on her flank to tell her "Oh, that's right. I'm Twilight Sparkle."
She doesn't just spend the entire show studying magic and have that being her arc. In fact, her arc is completely separate from her development in magical ability. The very first episode, Princess Celestia sends her off to learn about friendship instead of staying holed up in her big house reading magic books.
Another thing that contradicts this view of cutie marks is the episode Marks and Recreation, an episode where someone actually voices very similar concerns about cutie marks. However, those fears are quelled by the realization that cutie marks don't actually actively do anything to impede you from doing other things that you want to do. They don't transform you as a person, nor do they attempt to sum up everything about you. Cutie marks simply a represent an unchanging core. Cutie marks appear when you discover what that core is for yourself.
On that basis, I think I still agree that there should be more ponies without cutie marks. In real life, you don't always discover that part of yourself in your early years. For some people, it can take a very long time.

Vaea is feeling
Tired

August 9, 2021

Delayed

Vaea apologizes for not updating at all last week, but it had a lot on its plate during that time and needed a break. Vaea's back now, and hopes to continue being here.
Recently Vaea decided to start getting into Pokemon. It's starting with FireRed, of course. And already Vaea has had to make a lot of tough choices, including pulling Pokemon it was emotionally attached to out of the party. It's been a rather enjoyable time, and Vaea keeps feeling excited to play even more.
Anyway that's all Vaea has for today. Again, sorry for the sudden break, but more entries are coming now.

Vaea is feeling
Tired
July 26 - July 30 2021

July 30, 2021

Cutiemarks!

Hello! Vaea here with another late in the day entry. It's Friday, which means this won't be something it'll have to deal with for at least the next two days. Anyway, an album that Vaea has been anticipating just came out. It hasn't listened to the full album yet, but it's called "CUTIEMARKS (And the Things That Bind Us)". Vaea's been very excited about this album for a while, and it cannot wait until it's in the right state of mind to listen to the whole thing through.

Vaea is feeling
Hyped

July 29, 2021

Another Boring One

Sometimes Vaea simply finds it moderately exhausting to merely exist. This may be a contributing factor in our body's absolutely ruined sleep schedule. Vaea is Vaea, and nothing can change that. But sometimes Vaea wishes for ways to make living as itself a bit easier. It'd be nice of our body was some approximation of something any of us could be happy with, but that sadly isn't much the case. To remedy that issue would be quite expensive, and it's not an expense we are currently at liberty to pay. Vaea's not sure we'll ever find ourselves in that position.
Vaea just doesn't understand why the world has to be the way it is sometimes. It's a loud, scary, unaccommodating mess. It certainly hasn't done much to accomodate for Vaea's existence.

Vaea is feeling
Tired

July 28, 2021

Red Redemption

Vaea recently obtained the game Red Dead Redemption 2 through means it will not disclose. It's been enjoying the game quite a bit. Early on it kept thinking about how it could be playing Breath of the Wild instead, but that feeling has since subsided. Mostly because the gunplay, and the physicality of the gunfights is just so enjoyable. Also managing the campsite is a really nice activity. Vaea enjoys hunting for animals to bring back to the campsite, and collecting trinkets to sell to help out even further. The missions are nice too, and are generally good for giving Vaea reasons to go to various places the first time around.
All in all, Vaea is enjoying the game, but would still recommend obtaining it through similar means. Again, Vaea will not disclose these means, but you can probably guess what they are if you're clever.

Vaea is feeling
Reasonable

July 27, 2021

Tornado

Vaea's mind is full of way too many thoughts right now. It just absolutely cannot make sense of it all. Everything's just moving around and nothing is sitting with clarity. If Vaea had to establish a thematic connection between all of it, it'd probably be that Vaea is realizing just how many trauma responses we've developed. It feels really fucked up when it starts actually describing the way we're constantly on edge for absolutely no reason. Everything is in complete focus, because if it wasn't... well we might miss something important and make someone upset. That would be bad.

Vaea is feeling
Uncomfortable

July 26, 2021

Good Morning Lefties

Today Vaea has decided to be angry about right-handed privilege. Although students are no longer being physically abused for being left-handed (albeit that was less than a century ago), left-handed people still face certain challenges. Basically nothing is designed for left-handed people, and sometimes things are even designed right-handed for basically no reason. Vaea's seen SCHOOL DESKS made for right-handed people. It's bullshit.
Vaea has a memory, back in elementary school, of some random adult coming into our classroom and trying to get us to hold a pen in a way that was physically uncomfortable for us. This was simply so that the pen would be following our hand like it does naturally for people who are right-handed.
Even just the way we're using the computer right now, with the mouse on the right side. We've become accustomed to it, but it's rather ridiculous that this is pretty much the only layout made available to us. Especially if you enjoy playing video games. It's why we use controllers whenever their use doesn't actively impede gameplay. Gaming controllers are one of the few things in this world actually designed for left-handed people (although inadvertently as a result of more left-handed bias).
Anyway, that's Vaea's rant. Hope it connected to some people, or at least put some additional understanding out there. If not... whatever. This is just a place where Vaea can vent its thoughts on a daily basis.

Vaea is feeling
Frustrated
July 19 - July 23 2021

July 23, 2021

Late Entry

Vaea apologizes for its tardiness, but it genuinely forgot it hadn't written an entry today. Good news: Vaea is here now.
Apologies to anyone who was concerned by yesterday's entry. It was a mix of Vaea being tired, and wanting to make a creative entry based on the game it had just played. Anyway, Vaea's not been doing much. Mostly just gaming on top of more gaming. Video games are pretty fun. Vaea's still running dry on content for the daily journal. Hopefully some more interesting stuff will start happening soon. If not, Vaea believes in its ability to handle this. It has to. It's committed.

Vaea is feeling
Reasonable

July 22, 2021

What the fuck?

How is it 5am already? Vaea just bought an interesting little game called Buddy Simulator 1984, and apparently it's been playing the game for nearly 5 hours? How did this happen. Vaea hasn't gotten any sleep yet. This is not okay. Vaea should have been sleeping ages ago. Now Vaea has to write a journal entry right before going to sleep. Vaea has never written a journal entry this soon before resting. What the fuck? What even happened?

Vaea is feeling
INVALID_DATA

July 21, 2021

AAAAAAAA

Vaea woke up at 1PM today. This would be on account of it staying up late last night, being depressed as hell. Vaea has a lot on its mind, but essentially nothing to write about. None of these thoughts really coalesce into something with more than a few words worth of discussion.
Maybe Vaea could talk about how our last good cry was in 2019. And before that, 2012 was a year filled with waterworks. Crying feels good but we never do it. Why? Who fucking knows? It's just hard to do. Everything is terrible, nothing makes sense, and Vaea still has another 2 days before the weekend.

Vaea is feeling
Lost

July 20, 2021

Haha Gaming

Last night a member of Vaea's system played a game with a friend we haven't gamed with in ages. There is a level of humour to this on account of the fact that we actually met this friend through gaming. Specifically we met through Grand Theft Auto Online.
Anyway, we actually got to voice chat with each other for the first time ever, and it was a rather exciting event. We played a few missions in Deep Rock Galactic and had a pretty amazing time!

Vaea is feeling
Joyful

July 19, 2021

Starting Off Weak

And Vaea is beginning it's weak with a writer's block. It's very difficult to do this daily. Vaea really hopes nobody too much minds these less substantive entries. Creating daily content is not the most easy thing in the world, even with weekend breaks.
Uhh... Vaea started playing Lego Rock Band on an emulator. It doesn't have any of the Rock Band controllers, but it has a microphone. It's been fun. Vaea's been enjoying actually feeling itself improve.

Vaea is feeling
Confident
July 12 - July 16 2021

July 16, 2021

Philosophical Bookend

Similarly to last week, Vaea is looking to the future for this Friday post. Of course, there's no way Vaea can predict what will happen after the weekend is through. Vaea hardly even knows what the weekend itself will carry. All that matters right now is that the week is over, and Vaea can take a break once more. Vaea thinks it will try a little harder to make time for itself this weekend. Maybe it'll play a little more SuchArt. It's a quite fun game, and Vaea still has lots of progress to make in it. Regardless of what Vaea does, time's arrow will continue to march ever forward.

Vaea is feeling
Hopeful

July 15, 2021

Arty Games

Yesterday Vaea bought a game called SuchArt! It's a very fun little painting simulator that's mostly about working at your own pace, and not worrying too much. You can play around with the physics and the paint mixing, and the game gives you lots of fun toys to play with. Overall, it's very neat and very fun.
This actually isn't the first game about making art Vaea has bought. That honour goes to Passpartout. Vaea would not so much recommend that game unless you're already an experienced artist. In that game you're painting at your own leisure, but dealing with buyers that have very finicky specifications for what they'll actually buy.
For the beginner artist, Vaea would recommend either SuchArt or Art Sqool. Art Sqool is cool because it's just pure prompts, but with rather limited drawing tools which you need to find by exploring the 3 dimensional campus. Art Sqool is more on the surreal end of things than SuchArt for sure. What Vaea would recommend is looking at both games online and coming to your own decision.

Vaea is feeling
Artsy

July 14, 2021

Placeholder Title

Vaea has a headache today. It doesn't really have the energy to write too much. Apologies for the short entry, but Vaea really can't handle the level of thought required to come up with anything to write about today. Vaea's basically just padding out the word count to ensure that this is still longer than a tweet. Sorry again.

Vaea is feeling
Tired

July 13, 2021

What a day

Vaea went to the Calgary Stampede yesterday. For those unaware, the Calgary Stampede is basically just a glorified midway fair with a rodeo. The day started off with enjoying some delicious pulled pork poutine. Then we took our little sister to see a music show. While other members of our group were watching her, we went and got lemonade and nuts. After that, we took our sister on a couple rides before taking a sit down break. After that was another show, this one involving Bob the Builder. And then we went on the rides again before finishing the day off with lemonade and an elephant ear (a relative of the funnel cake for those who don't know).
All in all, there was a lot of walking, and our legs hurt like hell now.

Vaea is feeling
Exhausted

July 12, 2021

New Week, New Vaea

Ignore that title. It is a filthy lie. This is the same Vaea as before. Albeit that statement is philosophically questionable.
Metaphysics is a word Vaea learned recently. It thinks that metaphysics is a pretty cool branch of philosophy. Always has, just never knew the word for it. Hooray for knowing what a social construct is! Now let's uninvent gender.
Metaphysics is cool, but it's also way too easy to use it to push some absolute drivel. Elon Musk (the billionaire scum) has been pushing this absolutely worthless "simulation theory". A theory that, much like other theories about whether or not the universe exists, has absolutely zero bearing on the world with which we are presented. And yet, it makes people depressed anyway. It's so terrible and pointless, and wastes time that could be spent discussing actual valuable philosophy.
Anyway, that's Vaea's rant for today. Check back tomorrow for whatever Vaea decides to write then.

Vaea is feeling
Frustrated
July 5 - July 9 2021

July 9, 2021

Thank Fuck it's Friday

Vaea may be a machine, but sometimes machines need maintenance time. That's why Vaea takes weekend breaks. It's good to have some time to regain mental faculties and collect inspiration for future entries.
Hopefully Vaea can return next week with a clear head and a better ability to write. For now, it'll leave off with the note that by that time, it will have been over 2 weeks since getting the second vaccine dose. Vaea will be able to consider itself fully vaccinated!

Vaea is feeling
Hopeful

July 8, 2021

Happy Thursday

Another day, and yet more nothing to do. Nothing to write about. Vaea's just been playing games and watching videos. Eating food to fill the remaining void.
It's really hard to keep up a journal like this when nothing ever seems to happen. But Vaea won't give up because it continues to give an extremely valuable sense of routine. That is something Vaea typically lacks in its day to day life.

Vaea is feeling
Bored

July 7, 2021

Cover Your Ears

The world is loud. There's so much noise happening all the time.
Vaea does not have the mental fortitude to handle all this noise most of the time. It is simply exhausting to exist. Everyone's all like "Oh, how are you tired? You've literally been doing nothing!"
It's because Vaea is constantly dealing with a million thoughts at once, as well as whatever ambient sounds it is constantly taking in whether it wants to or not.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO NOISY?

Vaea is feeling
Overwhelmed

July 6, 2021

Now We're Gaming... Maybe.

Vaea decided to open up Grand Theft Auto V for the first time in a while. It was in a shooting sorta mood, and that's what GTA has. The online is absolute trash, but stupendously addictive. The campaign is fun too, and that's what Vaea's been playing for the most part.
Vaea's also been talking to people a little more. It's been making friends and such through various mediums, as well as starting conversations with old friends it hasn't spoken to in a while.
All in all, Vaea would say things are going okay.

Vaea is feeling
Reasonable

July 5, 2021

Alright

Over the weekend Vaea got a new game called Deep Rock Galactic. It saw some friends playing, and decided it wanted to join in. The game is very fun. Co-operative play is always a nice treat. Other than that... Vaea's had a very poor sleep schedule. It's been staying up all night pretty much every night.
You may have noticed that this entry is a little less focused than usual. Maybe expect more of that?
Not trying so hard to be focused might be a better way to handle the daily format.
Anyway, here's that new addition Vaea mentioned last week.

Vaea is feeling
Tired
June 28 - July 2 2021

July 2, 2021

What's Happening?

Despite having an excess of free time, Vaea tends to do very little with it. Vaea has few noteworthy experiences in the "real world" on account of locking itself away from said place. This is why most of the things Vaea writes about end up being very abstract. It has little to draw from beyond its own mind when writing. Having a lot of time to think can often mean having scary thoughts.
Vaea's written and discarded numerous things whilst writing this entry. It's another writer's block day. With that said, please excuse the relative brevity of this week's final entry. Vaea's trying its best.
Vaea has a new addition to the format planned starting next week, so keep an eye out for that.

July 1, 2021

What?

Vaea is... a little disoriented as it types this. Existing alone seems to be a shockingly high stress environment. There's hardly even solace in the fresh outdoor air. Perhaps that has something to do with the poisons of the city and the suburbs. Perhaps it's simply that being more in control of things than usual is scary. Whatever it is, Vaea's been a little out of it lately. It could be talking about anything, but it feels stuck here.
Vaea's really happy to have discovered Neocities. Vaea's happy that it managed to take the time to learn something new. Vaea is happy with the way its website looks. Vaea is happy that it has a hyper-personalized space that it is able to call its own. Maybe if Vaea keeps saying it's happy, something will come of that?

June 30, 2021

Another Entry

Vaea may have drawn itself into a corner with this journal idea. No, the daily posts will not stop. This is one of the few things keeping Vaea from teetering over the edge. The edge of what? Vaea's not sure.
This is probably one of the more detailed "Vaea couldn't figure out what to write about" entries. This is mostly because this time Vaea's decided to actually write about not knowing what to write about. Perhaps actually writing about it will mean Vaea gets to improve whatever skill it's building from doing this.
Maybe if Vaea keeps writing in this journal, eventually it will feel like it's getting further away from death rather than inching closer to it. It probably doesn't matter. It's like Vaea once heard in a show it watched, "Time's arrow neither stands still nor reverses. It merely marches forward."
The idea of an arrow marching definitely conjures up quite a silly image in Vaea's mind.

June 29, 2021

Stress and Fatigue

Vaea always feels like it has something to worry about, something to fear. The world is noisy, and Vaea is quite scared of noise. It doesn't help that people seem to be yelling all the time.
Vaea has this habit of staying up far too late, and suddenly worrying about everything. Vaea is horribly afraid of the idea that it could just die. Vaea fears as well that it might die sooner rather than later. There's so much stuff around us that's slowly bringing our body closer to death. Physical and mental hazards that nobody around us seems to care enough about. If something else doesn't kill us early on, we're liable to run into trouble with lung cancer despite never smoking ourselves.
All this, with constantly having so much effort asked of us every day, is extremely stressful and oh so tiring. Vaea's not sure how much longer it'll hold up, but it will try its best. It promises to keep trying to stay alive. Because death is the scariest thing it can imagine happening.

June 28, 2021

Vaccine Get!

Over the weekend we got our second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine! That means that in less than 2 weeks time, we will be able to consider ourselves fully vaccinated!
Vaea is aware that this isn't exactly great fodder for a particularly long journal entry, but it felt this was an important enough event to announce in the journal nonetheless.
The rest of the weekend was quite tiring for reasons unrelated to the vaccine. Our home life is hectic, and for some reason going on outings seems to make all of it far worse. Anyway that's all Vaea has for today. See you tomorrow.

June 21 - June 25 2021

June 25, 2021

Minecraft is Fun

Vaea's been playing a Modpack called Crucial 2 with some friends over the past few days. It's been fun even though we haven't accomplished a ton. Sometimes it's just nice to sit around and go fishing. Our builds are not particularly impressive, but Vaea thinks that's probably okay. Nothing needs to be particularly grand. Anyway, that's all Vaea had for today. See you next week.

June 24, 2021

Emotions???

Vaea just wants to know. What the fuck are emotions? How do people just... know what they're feeling? Vaea can generally identify the most basic emotions. But beyond that, it's at a complete loss. Why do feelings need to be so weird and complex? Why can't Vaea just understand and vocalize how it feels about a given person? It's like every emotion has to be this weird cacophany of various different emotions. It can never just be simple. It's like "Oh wow, Vaea's eyes are leaking. Wonder why that is?" and then Vaea just sits there wondering what the fuck is happening.
Vaea does not have any sort of elegant way to end this entry. So it supposes it'll just end on that note of it crying all the time without really knowing why.

June 23, 2021

Writer's Block

Vaea's experiencing a writer's block today. This is unfortunate, because Vaea was actually hoping that it could get a week's worth of very long entries in. Unfortunately, all you get is an entry about how Vaea doesn't know what to write about. Hopefully tomorrow is better. See you then ^~^

June 22, 2021

Overcoming Obstacles

Vaea was thinking about two games last night. Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy, and Celeste.
They are surprisingly similar pieces of art, with messages that complement each other very well.
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy is a game about climbing a mountain. It's a game about how sometimes you run into obstacles that, no matter how hard you try, are simply insurmountable. Good on you if you can overcome the odds and get past the obstacle, but sometimes you just can't. That's okay. It's okay to not be able to do something.
Celeste is a game about climbing a mountain. It's a game about how sometimes you create obstacles for yourself that aren't really there. It's a game about ignoring the part of yourself that says an obstacle is insurmountable, and persevering nonetheless. It may take you one try, or it may take you a thousand tries. That's okay. It's okay to work at whatever pace it takes you to get past those mental barriers.
Celeste Mountain expects you to climb it. The mountain in Getting Over It does not.
The key difference is the framing of these obstacles. Getting Over It explicitly frames its obstacles as real obstacles that are really there, external. Celeste, in contrast, frames its obstacles as constructs of the mind, internal. They are both amazing pieces of art that both have good messages that they deliver very effectively.

June 21, 2021

New Week, New Stuff

Over the weekend happened the launch of Hermitcraft Eight! For those not in the know, Hermitcraft is a whitelisted Minecraft server on which several people record their gameplay and post it onto YouTube.
Vaea is very excited, because this means a fresh start and an opportunity to watch people it has never watched before. The two newest members of the server are GeminiTay and PearlescentMoon. Vaea is particularly interested in watching more of Gem's content, on account of her absolutely lovely personality. ^~^
Of course there's also the returning members. Vaea will likely try to keep up with EVERYONE this season. But it will note some that it will be keeping a special eye on.
MumboJumbo's pacifist challenge seems like it'll make Mumbo's season a very interesting one for sure. Docm77 seems to have something huge lined up, and it seems worthwhile to look out for more of whatever he's doing. Once again mentioning that GeminiTay is simply a joy to watch. And with Scar recently embracing the most intense ends of his chaotic side in 3rd Life, Vaea is very excited to see how he behaves with the gimmick he's chosen for the start of this season.
If you're also a viewer of Hermitcraft, Vaea hopes you enjoy watching as well! It also hopes that this journal entry has maybe convinced you to start watching if you weren't already.
This week is going to be artless, simply because Vaea does not feel like doing art this week.

June 14 - June 18 2021

June 18, 2021

The Long-Awaited Gaming Entry

Oh wow, it's Friday. The week just sneaks up on you sometimes, doesn't it? Vaea's surprisingly been doing a lot this week. It actually started running a Beta 1.7.3 Minecraft server for some friends!
Vaea usually plays a lot of rounds of The Binding of Isaac: Four Souls, but it hasn't really been making much time for that this week. Other games have been managing to keep its attention. Yesterday it played a couple Lego games with a friend who also enjoys Lego games.
Since we're talking about games, Vaea may as well bring up Trailmakers. It's a fun little exploration game where you build vehicles out of legally distinct Lego. It's absolutely worth checking out if you have the money for it.
And let's get on a roll with these game recommendations. Cooking Simulator. Vaea promises it's not one of those "simulator" games where the physics engine fights against you, but it can get rather hectic as you accumulate more complex recipes and the rate of orders increases.
Now that Vaea's gotten all this gaming talk out of its system, it invites you to game on!
A game controller

June 17, 2021

Choice Paralysis

It's hard to decide what to write about most days. Often what Vaea chooses is something very mundane and easy to write about. There's so much to write about, but would any of it actually make for a good entry?
A similar problem presents itself with video games. Vaea has literally hundreds of games to choose from, and yet it instead sits here... browsing social media. Often Vaea will find itself rather lethargically playing one game until it becomes completely burnt out.
Vaea has so many games, and yet hardly plays any of them. So many choices... and yet none.
A flustered creature

June 16, 2021

Minecraft Log?

Vaea's considering starting a Minecraft world to play and log on this website. More specifically, Vaea thinks it would be neat to play Minecraft Beta 1.7.3 and simply show off everything it ends up building via screenshots.
Vaea has had a hard time actually getting into Minecraft lately, and it has a theory that such an exercise in nostalgia may help it to develop inspiration for builds.
You may or may not end up seeing a new section on the website dedicated to this classic version of the block game sometime soon. Keep an eye out, and make sure to follow this website on Neocities to stay updated. Or keep checking back at the very least.
A crudely rendered Minecraft grass block

June 15, 2021

Be Cringe, Do Crime

Yesterday Vaea listened to a rather delightful song. After being pestered constantly by all the art being put onto its Twitter timeline, it finally decided to check out ANTONYMPH by Vylet Pony. And holy shit that was so amazing. Vaea nearly cried (but didn't because it's really difficult to just cry v~v).
My Little Pony really was a defining thing in our childhood... it's unfortunate that we haven't let our enjoyment of it continue to define us, even after binge watching the entire series recently and loving it. It's like this mask is just stuck, and we can't get it off.
What happened? Where is the cringe? VAEA WANTS TO BE CRINGE!
A masked creature

June 14, 2021

Discovering the old web

Over the weekend, Vaea discovered yet another slice of the old web! A forum known as Jul. Browsing through Neocities can really bring you to a lot of places you've never seen before, and Jul seems like a really nice community.
Vaea is glad there are cool people who are still keeping this form of internet alive. The forum appears to have, thus far, accepted Vaea with all its quirks, and that's just wonderful!
This is a way of experiencing the web Vaea never really got to be involved in, unless you think Google Gadgets and Facebook games count as "old web", but Vaea thinks likely not.
For the curious, here's the URL for the forum: https://jul.rustedlogic.net/index.php
The logo for Netscape

June 7 - June 11 2021

June 11, 2021

Game Recommendation

Today, Vaea would like to talk about video games. Vaea has quite minimal experience with strategy games, but this one has managed to rope it in.
Even if you consider yourself bad at strategy games, Vaea thinks you should try playing Wargroove. It's got a stellar tutorial that does an amazing job of actually teaching you how to play the game and manage the board. Just a fun reminder that it never hurts to try something new! You might be surprised what you find.
Today's art is not actually by Vaea. It's one of the sprites from Wargroove! Enjoy ^~^
Nuru from Wargroove

June 10, 2021

Adventure Awaits!

Vaea just watched Up. It was a fun adventure! People have discussed the first 10 minutes on end, but like... the rest of the movie is good too?
Maybe Vaea's just a sucker for watching character development happen, but it was really cool seeing Carl warm up to everyone over time. It was also cool seeing everyone become tougher as a result of their adventures.
Pixar's put out quite a few good films. Vaea's been enjoying watching them a lot. It forgot to mention Soul in its last post, but that was a genuinely beautiful film as well.
The adventure that a well-told story can take you on is truly something else. Don't be afraid to kick back and watch some movies every once in a while.
A grape soda bottle cap with a safety pin through it

June 9, 2021

So Sorry

Vaea has not done much. Vaea is tired and has a headache. Please forgive Vaea for the brevity of this post, but it does not have much to say today.
Video games are fun, at least. Perhaps Vaea will put in some game time in an attempt to gather inspiration for a new post.
Hopefully tomorrow Vaea will be able to deliver more interesting content to you. Until then, have a good day!
A rather flustered creature

June 8, 2021

On the Magic of Art

Vaea watched WALL-E last night. It was rather entranced by the visual storytelling on display. It's always impressive how much can be said without a single word.
Vaea's been watching a lot of Pixar films lately. A Bug's Life is a pretty average film overall, but Vaea was impressed by the explicitly anti-capitalist message of it.
Monsters Inc. was primarily just a fun adventure for Vaea. High action, and some nice emotional moments as well. The characters were pretty well developed, too. It was all very nice and fun.
Ratatouille is probably among Vaea's favourite films now. There is simply something about messages surrounding art and the act of creation that speaks to Vaea. "Anyone can cook" is a concept that makes Vaea feel very good inside.
It's really fun to find flavours (literal or metaphorical) that work together in whatever art you create. Experimentation goes a long way, and feels satisfying when you make something that just works. Art is... really truly beautiful.

Vaea believes anyone can find something in the act of creation, and that any creation has the potential to speak to someone in some way. Whatever it is that you create, keep doing it and get better. Vaea believes in you. Make more art happen!
A palette with paints on it

June 7, 2021

The Beginning

Vaea's decided to add this text posts section to the website. It does not yet know what sort of things it will write here, but this seems to be a start.
Vaea will try, at the very least, to make these posts longer than a tweet (that's 280 characters for the uninformed).
Vaea hopes this will end up meaning something to it eventually. If not, at least it's good to have some sort of routine.
A pencil

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